Who am I?

I really envy people who know the answer to this question. Yes, I'm a mom and wife. Yes, I'm a daughter, aunt and sister. But, WHO am I, really?

The whole purpose of my blog was really to find out for myself who I truly am and what I truly want to be. I mean, I know what I want out of life. I want to be a good mom and bring my girls up to be strong, independant women. I want to write a book. I want to be good at whatever it is I do in life. I know my good traits (and bad ones) I'm very loyal and will keep any secret you ever tell me, I'm sensitive, yet strong, I'm imaginative, I'm funny and at times am very creative. However, I'm also very impatient, lazy and quick to anger. I change my mind at the drop of a hat. I'm a dreamer.

I'm a dreamer...... That sentence made me stop and think for a moment. I am basically happy with my life (of course, we are always searching for something more) but, to be honest, I am always wishing my life were somehow different. Not to take away from the love I have for my daughters and husband, but how would I be different if I didn't have them? I dream of that often and the dreams are always different. From back-packing across Canada with friends to living in a beautiful beach house in Vancouver and going to the theater or some hot spot where the 'cool' people hang out. I dream of living in a cabin, just me and a typewriter so I can write my book, with weekly deliveries of food and things to keep me living. I dream of travelling to Ireland or Paris..anywhere I want to go. I dream of living in a pent house with endless hours and money to shop and a door man who will bring up my packages.

Yes, all dreams, all unattainable with my life such as it is. But, still, just writing that down gave me a giddy feel in my stomach. It sort of gave me a thrill to think that some of those things aren't really impossible. Could I actually write a book? Could I actually get the chance to travel? What do I need to do to make all my dreams come true?

So, step one--I'm a dreamer.....

Ok, it's official! I suck at blogging. I've had this account for a long time now, but have yet to write anything down. So, here I am, taking a break from other online activities (which I must say I've been completely bored of lately) and making an entry. So, what will it be about? Me, of course!

Ok, so maybe writing about me isn't such a good idea. I consider myself horribly boring. I'm married, have children, don't find much time for myself, don't get out much and most of my life consists of these four walls and a walk twice a day down to the bus stop. Ok, so occasionally I take out my gas guzzling Explorer--and gas is really pricey these days--but I don't really enjoy driving. I think I was made for a chauffer driven vehicle! haha

So, I have children. Let's get the feel of this blog by adding a photo.

Yup, that's my girls. Brooklyn is the little one and Madison is the older one. NO, it wasn't on purpose that they both have New York names! haha They are 8 (nine in December) and 4 (five in October..oh heck, that's next month already! O_O ) Sweet girls, really headstrong, like their mother ;)

On to my husband, Jake. Another photo?

He would hate me using this picture of him hungover! Did I mention Jake needs a makeover in a big, BAD way? He just doesn't care what he wears! It's hard for me to look hot when we go out when he's all bagged and sacked out beside me! Anyhow, we've been together off and on for almost 16 years--married for nearly 12. We got married in Las Vegas, at the MGM Grand, on the day after Christmas.

So, now me.....

I have a hard time saying anything about myself. It's true that some women lose their own identity after marriage and children. I always said it wouldn't happen to me, but it did. I'm a wife and mother--that's it! I don't even really remember what I used to like doing before all this happened in my life. I've completely lost myself. So, hense the blog. I hope to find myself, or at least a small piece of myself, by writing about myself. So, yes, it might be boring to some, but a huge journey for me.